Sorry for no recap of the nomination episode, my TIVO blinked out on me. Matt/Natalie and Alex/Amanda are nominated and Sheila/Allison came clean about their faux lesbianism. That’s about all that happened.
In Very Serious Blue Filter, we see the two couples nominated. Back in color, Alex is pissed at Amanda because he knows she is why they’re nominated. Matt is totally pissed because he thought he was safe based on James’ word. Oh, just like you said Parker would be safe if you won the veto? Just like that? James and Chelsia are fairly unconcerned. And then they smooch. Oooh, that’s new.
Matt and Natalie powwow while Matt makes the bed, folding over a nice comforter and placing the pillows and it’s just a random cute thing that I notice. Outside, Amanda is bugging Alex and he asks for her to give him time so that he doesn’t lash out on her. He is PISSED.
Now we get to see Allison bust out her crazy about Jen being gone and not being nominated. She and Natalie have a pistol duel with spray bottles of cleaner, which seems…safe. Right up until someone gets industrial strength chemicals in their eyeballs. Meanwhile, Matt/Amanda/Sheila are powwowing about…somebody. Sheila feels played by…Allison? I’m really unsure. Another meanwhile, Matt confronts James about being nominated and then Alex gets in on the act. They are vaguely menacing in a way I don’t like. It smacks of…mob mentality, bullying and homophobia, to be honest. Just the way James is “different” and those two are so “frat boy.” Hmmm. I hope that was more congenial than it came across, because I’d like to give Alex and Matt the benefit of the doubt.
Sheila talks to Allison about a “weird vibe,” like now that Allison is not nominated that she’s not Sheila’s friend anymore. I cannot believe that Sheila is 45 years old. WTF? Is this 7th grade? “Are you mad at me? Are you mad at me?” Give me a fucking break.
Time for Veto, where Matt/Natalie, James/Chelsia, Amanda/Alex and Sharon/Joshuah play. Adam is picked at host. Oooh, I hope he gets to call them “retards.” Alex and Matt powwow in the pantry about their Man Love. I mean, their strategy for POV. They have now decided that they hate James/Chelsia, just as James comes in to get some food. He shit-talks them in that very unconcerned way that REALLY bugs guys like Alex and Matt. Heh.
In the back yard, there are…small telephone poles set up. Chelsia’s dad is a lineman (as in power lines) so she’s ready and rarin’ to go. Haha, I love her. She can be invited to my Reality Show House, where I live with Dustin, Kandice, Michelle, Chris Richardson, Jordin Sparks, Gina and Blake from AI. The POV challenge is to dig through barrels of peanuts to get cables that they connect to their poles. They solve the puzzle when they light the light at the end. This is…weird. Peanuts? And telephone wires? Anyway, it’s a puzzle based on wire length and pole distance and it’s really fucking boring, even by Big Brother Challenge standards. Sharon/Joshuah win and start screaming, which is weird because…it’s just POV.
Inexplicably, the houseguests get “power” from the outside world and get messages about John McCain (Amanda cheers), Barack Obama (Amanda cheers) and Britney Spears (Amanda cheers). WTF? It then tells them the Hudson River Virus is threatening those cutoff from the outside world, which is from Jericho…but I don’t get it yet. James thinks it has something to do with the magical 4-colored guinea pig toy. Hahaha.
Later, we get a Psycho Sheila Montage of how Allison is friends with other people besides her. She calls Allison a bitch to Natalie while Natalie just looks terrified that Sheila might boil her bunny. FUCK LADY! Rein in the crazy! She then goes to flip out about Allison to Matt and he interviews that Sheila is acting like a mental patient. Sheila cites that she’s 45 years-old and has “street smarts” becuase she lived in “New York.” OH MY FUCKING GOD. SHUT UP.
Allison confronts Sheila and Sheila gets all “you have a formal education so you think you’re better than me” and just acts like a complete ninny. Grow up, Sheila. Everybody is listening and realizing that Sheila is shit-house crazy. Right as I type that Sheila delivers, “I may not have your education, but I’m a street person. I can read people.” First off, NO YOU CAN’T. Obviously. Secondly, “street person.” She’s a hobo, y’all. Ryan jumps in the fray and it just snowballs and we get a HILARIOUS shot of Amanda doing a really funny touchdown dance and high-fiving Alex. Snerk.
Allison jogs around the backyard and talks to Sharon about how fucking crazy Sheila is. I have a bad feeling that someone’s coming off the block and Adam/Sheila are going up. (Wait? Bad feeling? I mean GREAT FEELING). Then Amanda runs in to the diary room because her throat is closing and she needs an EpiPen. Yikes, that’s scary. A nurse comes in to the Diary Room, but we can only hear them talking. Then Amanda talks about being hypoglycemic and then she faints. Wow, that’s a weird coincidence. Amanda then looks like she’s having a seizure while they give her…a tube of something. HIlariously, someone runs off to get a glass for water and someone yells “We don’t have any glasses!” Ahhh, the challenge comes back to bite them in the ass. Hahahaha.
How in the world do two girls have medical emergencies at the same time when there haven’t been ANY in the history of this show? So weird. I mean…what in the world?
Back from commercial, with the plinky-plunky strains of tragedy playing, they talk about how crazy it was and Adam interviews that James impressed him by jumping right in to prop up Amanda and help her, which he did. But he didn’t exactly have to give her CPR or something. Everyone is all freaked out about “their friends” and whatnot. Joshuah regrets attacking her, which he should’ve done before she had a medical emergency. But also: she’s not dead! These people are so goddamn dramatic. They’ve known each other 2 weeks! This is the kind of Stockholm Syndrome crap that happens on this damn show. Matt interviews that he didn’t expect crazy James to “man up” like that and that he’s “proud of his friend James.” Snerk. Sheila feels like if something happens to Allison, she could never forgive herself. OH MY GOD! These people…I am running out of stuff to say.
Amanda comes back and everybody hugs her and James gives his I just like to help people interview, which I get the impression is sincere and not as dramatic as everybody else. Like, he’s saying it’s really not a big deal, you should help someone who is sick. Don’t act like I ran through a burning building to save a family of kittens or something.
Allison comes back and everybody hugs her, blahblahblah we’re glad you’re okay. Amanda and Allison have a tearful powwow about being mean and then they group hug with Sheila and I spend the next 10 minutes cleaning barf off my keyboard. Jeezus tapdancing Christ.
Finally we get to the Veto Meeting. Joshuah let’s the couples plead their cases and it’s boring. All the girls are in swim suits, so this must be their 24 hours of scatilly-cladedness. Joshuah/Sharon don’t use the Veto, big shock…zzzzzzz.
